magnolia uncensored

i'm a bad blog-mom.

Wed, 16 Mar 2011 17:59:50 -0400

i’ve been neglecting you folks. i’m a busy little blogger these days, though, and i’ve been pulled about six million different directions. so i’ll try to be better.

no promises, though.

in the words of a local TV station’s tag line: god bless...

Wed, 02 Mar 2011 19:00:43 -0500

in the words of a local TV station’s tag line: god bless louisiana.

this is it.

Sun, 27 Feb 2011 10:33:25 -0500

this is the last damn morning i have to wake up and note that you’re not on the same continent as me. (for now. but that’s another rant for another time.) i could focus on all kinds of things. there’s so much i need to tell you, to get out.

but today? none of it matters. in mere hours, i’ll bring you home. and when i do, all i’ll do is be with you, in your presence. all i’ll do is soak you in.

the rest will take care of itself. today, i will just love you.

it's a quarter till two...

Sun, 20 Feb 2011 02:44:00 -0500

…i’m a little drunk and i need you now. but that’s the thing; you’re on the other side of the fucking ocean right now, right when i need you most. not your fault - how could i ever hold your professional accolades, successes, etc. against you?

your bartender here misses you. boy, if you just knew what i’m going through. every inch of this city reminds me of you. it’s wrong that you’re not here for me to rest my head on your chest, kiss your neck and pull you close.

christ, i miss you.

the most romantic place in this entire city is the tidal basin...

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 17:07:30 -0500

the most romantic place in this entire city is the tidal basin at night. (it’s better in the summer, when it’s warm out.) hope y’all have someone in your lives to love, be it romantically or otherwise.

[photo credit: this person]

hey, universe?

Wed, 09 Feb 2011 19:42:59 -0500

what did i do? why would you test me like that? not only, it seems, do the good die young, but we also get to deal with crap like this.

you had BETTER bring him back to me safe, god damn you.

it's time again.

Sat, 05 Feb 2011 14:25:51 -0500

it's time again.:

every so often, i have to link to “this is why i’ll never be an adult” over at hyperbole and a half. i do not want to clean all the things. not. even. close.

internet. forever.

that’s my mom. she passed three years ago today. she was...

Thu, 03 Feb 2011 23:48:33 -0500

that’s my mom. she passed three years ago today. she was pretty much a bad-ass, in a lot of ways. i think this shows that.

miss you, mom.

i own myself again.

Wed, 02 Feb 2011 23:41:49 -0500

i once again own the name with which i was born. i shed the name i chose in a fit of pique and teenage stubbornness, the one i clung to in the face of overwhelming evidence that i was being totally fucking stupid. i took back the confident, brash girl i’d been. i needed a dose of cayenne in this life. i got it by moving to louisiana, taking a breath, and waking the fuck up. so now the whole thing is over. i’m me again. let’s have some introductions.

hi, old self. been a minute. how’ve you been?

dear winter:

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 14:58:41 -0500

fuck off. no, seriously - fuck off.

i hate this season so, so much. and this week is only going to be one trial after another. it’s icy. it’s cold. it’s gray. like my life doesn’t go out of its way to smother my emotional health, winter? you have to come along and be like this? yeesh.

sweet lord. what did we do as a society to deserve this?...

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 18:32:36 -0500

sweet lord. what did we do as a society to deserve this? (don’t answer that.) this was the step between a little bit of drizzle and six-seven hours of wet, sloppy god-awful snow. but seriously? ice falling from the sky? screw you, weather.

[photo by me]

salmon and tea

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 23:15:41 -0500

state of the union. good times. smoked salmon. (damn, i want a bagel.)

responses: let’s see - there’s the ayn rand disciple with pinkeye (or a wake-and-bake problem), then there’s the train wreck that is princess michele of the kingdom of teabag.

verdict? my side’s sane. there’s isn’t. consensus is only possible when both sides want it. sigh.

with a purpose

Thu, 20 Jan 2011 18:30:10 -0500

i hate idleness. i feel sluggish, and it heightens my natural tendency to feel like a burden on everyone i love. so now school has started again, and i have activity in my life again. yee-hah, motherfuckers. it’s great. i mean, i’m going to be irked to high heaven a thousand times over between now and may, and if i don’t get a job offer soon, i’m gonna lose my damn mind, but i still have a life again. yay!

i am not allowed to bitch about school until spring break. the boyfriend says so.

my heart is this wondrous city, with its love, and its...

Tue, 11 Jan 2011 01:32:05 -0500

my heart is this wondrous city, with its love, and its life…

[dupont circle at sundown. taken by me, fall 2006.]

GEAUX.

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 23:57:40 -0500

GEAUX.

julieklausner: today: Elizabeth Edwards cut John out of her...

Thu, 06 Jan 2011 13:25:45 -0500

julieklausner:

today:

Elizabeth Edwards cut John out of her will

“All of my furniture, furnishings, household goods, jewelry, china, silverware and personal effects and any automobiles owned by me at the time of my death I give and bequeath to my children….” Edwards said in her last will and testament, signed six days before her death.

That’s hot.

stress. nothing but stress. and it’s not even mine.

Wed, 05 Jan 2011 18:25:46 -0500

stress. nothing but stress. and it’s not even mine.

some days, all i need is this hand on my shoulder. there...

Tue, 04 Jan 2011 23:32:04 -0500

some days, all i need is this hand on my shoulder. there aren’t words.

hint

Tue, 04 Jan 2011 18:36:05 -0500

there are signs that, perhaps, i may not be as happy as i ordinarily am. i’m not particularly hard to read. but it’s funny how easily these signs are missed, sometimes by the one person who should notice first.

we’ll see what happens, won’t we?

jim nantz is the guy who calls the masters on CBS. he’s getting married, apparently. good for...

Mon, 03 Jan 2011 23:37:12 -0500

jim nantz is the guy who calls the masters on CBS. he’s getting married, apparently. good for him, i guess. but really, what i remember him for is this really heartwrenching account of the day of his divorce trial.

i read this as i was getting ready to go through my own divorce, and my god, it tore my heart out. jim and lorrie nantz, crying and embracing each other as their acrimonious divorce trial ends? JESUS. there’s no way that’ll ever happen to me.

then came the afternoon i met with my ex, standing in a parking lot. we’d just exchanged some financial information and christmas cards. he’d gone out of his way to send me the most heartbreakingly perfect card ever, one that equally enraged me and moved me to tears. i couldn’t stand it. so i thanked him, as emotionally distantly as i could. i refused to look at him; i would NOT weep in a parking lot over this. i gave him a cordial and polite hug, then sat in the car i’d borrowed from my boyfriend and wept like a child for what seemed like forever.

so don’t ever, ever get it twisted; divorce will break your heart in a thousand ways, more than you’ll ever imagine. i have a friend who’s divorced his husband, but they’re stuck sharing their co-owned house. yet, somehow, it works for them. i, on the other hand, have awkward encounters with my ex-husband that are at times harrowingly enervating and at other times shatteringly emotional. i have hope that it’ll be better; i have dread that it won’t.

fuck divorce. seriously. no one should ever have to deal with this kind of pain. EVER.